Over the last two years, I’ve encountered a dozen women who have been traumatized, harassed or even murdered by their men. I’m not talking about cases in the media, but actual people in my world who have dealt with a domestic tragedy. The truth is, I have too. Apparently, the abuse trap isn’t a hard one to fall in to.
But, how do so many amazing women end up with so many unstable men and what can we do to ensure we’re not the next victim? We all come to a crossroads where we have to make a choice- we can either go with the flow, not wanting to ruffle any feathers or we can take a stance, step out on faith and stop choosing fear.
Trust me though, I know it’s much easier said than done. There’s no “type” of woman who experiences abuse. She may be beautiful, smart and sweet- that doesn’t mean she can’t be the next victim. So, here are five foolproof ways to avoid abuse.
Trust your intuition and don’t ignore the red flags
Women’s intuition can SAVE YOUR LIFE if you learn to trust that inner voice. Each and every time that something is about to go wrong, that uncomfortable feeling in your stomach lets you know what’s up. Instead of sweeping it under the rug and making excuses because you just like this guy so much, take action. Take action at the first sign of trouble because if you don’t, you leave the door for domestic abuse wide open. When you speak up and let your concerns be heard, you can avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications in the future.
Be real with yourself
What is he doing that another man can’t? Is this guy really irreplaceable?! I think NOT! So many times, we talk ourselves into putting up with crazy crap that we don’t deserve because we’re so comfortable with our current creep. The reality is, if he isn’t treating you right- there’s another man out there who will. Do NOT. I repeat, do NOT allow someone to mistreat you out of desperation.
Leave the pity party
Men have us figured out, they know how emotionally driven we are and they know exactly which heart strings to tug on to keep us around. STOP PLAYING THE FOOL and quit listening to his sob stories. If something in his life is always going wrong, his Karma is obviously messed up. The moment you leave his pity party is the moment he’ll realize he needs to shape up or ship out. No more playing mommy, care taker or nurse for these grown men, if they’re in need of care- recommend a therapist and keep it moving. You owe it to yourself to steer clear of his foolishness.
Stop suffering in silence
I know what you’re thinking, If your friends knew what you were going through, they would be so disappointed in you, they’d probably judge you too. That’s how we end up suffering in silence for so long. Most times, a voice of reason is all it takes to help you understand that you deserve so much more than you’re currently experiencing. Let the people who care about you do their job of CARING about you.
Choose FAITH over fear
No matter what you’re going through, how hard it may seem to turn things around or how bad you want things to work with this guy- you have to have FAITH that your future holds something far better for you. You know the phrase “leave that zero and get you a hero” well you have to create space for the hero to show up. By simply having faith that he exists, you can find the strength to let go of your current situation.
No matter who you are, where you are in life or what your future plans are- they should not include mistreatment, sadness or abuse. You deserve a life full of love, keep fighting for it.
Lesson learned: THE MAN FOR YOU WILL BE GOOD TO YOU.
Written by Koereyelle, CEO of TheSingleWivesClub.com and Creator of ReadyToWERK.com
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