Are you settling for single? If you're really interested in pursuing a relationship but aren't willing to do your part, then the answer is yes because you'd rather be comfortable and alone than stretch yourself and give dating a try.. I'm always shocked when I hear a woman say she "wants a man" but sits at home alone every single night of the week, never entertains the guy who approaches her at the grocery store (since that's the only place she goes) and turns her nose up at the idea of online dating.
Let me get this straight...you are interested in a relationship with someone new, but you're not actually open to the possibility of meeting someone new. Well, how in the world are you going to connect those dots? *insert confused emoji* If you really want a fair chance at dating, you have to:
Step One: LEAVE YOUR HOUSE
Unless you plan on dating the cable guy or repair man (and by all means, date away if that's your preference) you have to actually leave the house. Ideally, you'll go somewhere that requires you to look nice, smell good and SMILE! Going to the mall in your jeggings and flats is not the most ideal time to meet a man. Not to say that it's impossible, but that doesn't take any effort. The point here is stepping out of your comfort zone and consciously making an effort to look great and feel great...when you look good, you feel good! So put some thought into it and make plans to get out of your house! [If you're feeling really BAW$Y go out alone! Sit at the bar and look happy!]
Step Two: TALK TO PEOPLE
You get NO credit for getting out of the house unless you actually talk to someone. Don't go to the familiar place and talk to all of the people you already know, that completely defeats the purpose. Try the new spot that just opened up or the place you've been meaning to visit, the key is putting yourself in a new environment so you can meet new people. Warm up by talking to the bartender, they're there to talk to you anyway! Plus, it'll show the guys at the bar that you're friendly and open to conversation! [Side note: Want fool-proof flirting? Give a compliment!]
I read a dating advice column this morning and one woman shared that she's 29 years old and has never been in a relationship. She swore she's tried online dating, asks her friends to hook her up and even approaches men when she's out..still, NO ACTION. In this case, the only advice that the expert could give is that she must not be flirting enough. Although she may have been talking to men, she was being very aggressive (masculine vs feminine) and wasn't actually flirting..there's a difference. He went on to explain that men need women to flirt with them in the beginning in order to feel desired. Crazy, huh? LOL.
Which brings me to my final point. Do NOT. I repeat, do NOT buy into the "I don't need a man" BS. We are humans. Humans need love and affection to survive and I refuse to believe that you'll ever truly experience happiness in the absence of love. There's nothing weak or shameful about wanting companionship from someone who loves you in a healthy way. I mean, who wouldn't want the man who supports your dreams, encourages your happiness and shows you what real love is? We could ALL use that man! I come from a long line of single ass women and I refuse to continue the legacy. There's only so much happiness that ends with getting in the bed alone every night. As much as I want this money, I can't really enjoy it without my honey LOL. (I'm serious though.)
If you're really ready to get in the game, meet someone new and build something REAL it's going to take some WERK! But that doesn't mean it has to be stressful or uncomfortable! I'm creating a new way to make flirting fun, stay tuned for details. But, in the meantime- get out there and at least SMILE at someone, tell a man he smells good or something!!!!!
With So Much LOVE,